~ I Hope She Knows

I'm driving down the road and my car is quiet -

No two-year-old screaming at his brothers,

No nine-year-olds arguing back and forth.

A friend has taken them for the day.

I am left alone with my thoughts.

Today is his thirteenth birthday - my oldest.

He's with dad experiencing all kinds of new things...

the clear blue water of the Carribean,

snakes (big ugly ones that can squeeze the life out of you),

horses & sting rays & starfish & dolphins,

and cliff diving.

And I know it's not just all fun.

He's seeing more than the beauty this island holds.

He's seeing those who have been abandoned, left to suffer on their own,

Living quarters that, in his world, would be condemned,

Electricity being shut off,

Bodies that are shutting down from disease,

And he's seeing their joy as he walks by to serve them...

the ladies smiling and calling him handsome,

the children taking his small offerings of sweet treats with delight in their eyes,

the man who can't use his own body telling my son that he messed up his own life and reminding this young one of mine he should read more, stay on the right path.

So much for his young eyes to take in,

his young mind to process,

his tender heart to hold.

And right in the middle of my quietness I think of the young girl who held him 13 years ago today -

the one who gave him his chocolate brown eyes and his cute little lips and his jet black hair,

the one who chose to give him life,

the best gift that she could possibly ever give him.

And I wonder if she knew on that day 13 years ago how her broken heart would heal my empty arms,

how her sacrifice would forever change my heart.

And I think of the One who created those eyes and those lips and can count every hair on that head,

The One who planned before the foundations of the world that her gift would be my great delight,

And all I can do in this moment,

In the stillness and quietness of my car,

is whisper "thank you"

and hope that somewhere, she knows!

I know He does!